Well, it's Monday morning again. You should head over to MckMama's for the best in Not Me! Monday fun, and a whole list of other bloggers who participate. Oh, and I really didn't watch the Oscars last night--unless you count the 20 minutes or so where I got to see Ben Stiller do his Joaquin Phoenix impression, and Hugh Jackman sing every musical known to creation. Hugh Jackman. The man could read a phone book, and I'd probably watch.
So, before I fixate on Hugh, let's move on to what I, ahem....didn't do.
I did not go snow tubing in utterly inappropriate clothing. I grew up in the True North Strong and Free, so I know a thing or two about proper gloves, and snow pants. I did not decide that I didn't feel like spending the money on the aforementioned winter gear, and try to "wing it."
I did not groan over the measurements taken this weekend to fit me for a bridesmaid's dress. I am a mature, grown woman who is ok with the fact that I am not teeny-tiny.
I did not start the morning by dumping Wiggle Man's cereal and milk all over the floor. Nope, not me. I am certainly more graceful than that.
I am not trying to reason with a toddler. Me: "Wiggle Man, just let Mommy finish her writing, then we'll go change your bum." Wiggle Man: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."
I am not trying to convince him to dance to "All The Single Ladies." I am not letting him listen to it simply because he turned it on and I didn't feel like arguing that he's not allowed to touch the radio. I'm much more consistent than that, so it couldn't be me.
I'm not hungry again, an hour after I ate breakfast.
I did not put Wiggle Man in his high chair with his breakfast, which I then did not put in the bathroom so I could get a shower without him a) crying for me the whole time, b) trying to open the shower curtain to see me, and/or c) destroying the house. He did not return the favour by splashing milk everywhere.
And there you have it--proof that I am, in fact, the perfect mother. I did none of these things.