Monday, February 23, 2009

Not Me! Monday--Oscar Edition

Well, it's Monday morning again. You should head over to MckMama's for the best in Not Me! Monday fun, and a whole list of other bloggers who participate. Oh, and I really didn't watch the Oscars last night--unless you count the 20 minutes or so where I got to see Ben Stiller do his Joaquin Phoenix impression, and Hugh Jackman sing every musical known to creation. Hugh Jackman. The man could read a phone book, and I'd probably watch.

So, before I fixate on Hugh, let's move on to what I, ahem....didn't do.

I did not go snow tubing in utterly inappropriate clothing. I grew up in the True North Strong and Free, so I know a thing or two about proper gloves, and snow pants. I did not decide that I didn't feel like spending the money on the aforementioned winter gear, and try to "wing it."

I did not groan over the measurements taken this weekend to fit me for a bridesmaid's dress. I am a mature, grown woman who is ok with the fact that I am not teeny-tiny.

I did not start the morning by dumping Wiggle Man's cereal and milk all over the floor. Nope, not me. I am certainly more graceful than that.

I am not trying to reason with a toddler. Me: "Wiggle Man, just let Mommy finish her writing, then we'll go change your bum." Wiggle Man: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

I am not trying to convince him to dance to "All The Single Ladies." I am not letting him listen to it simply because he turned it on and I didn't feel like arguing that he's not allowed to touch the radio. I'm much more consistent than that, so it couldn't be me.

I'm not hungry again, an hour after I ate breakfast.

I did not put Wiggle Man in his high chair with his breakfast, which I then did not put in the bathroom so I could get a shower without him a) crying for me the whole time, b) trying to open the shower curtain to see me, and/or c) destroying the house. He did not return the favour by splashing milk everywhere.

And there you have it--proof that I am, in fact, the perfect mother. I did none of these things.


Mighty M said...

I try to get my daughter to dance to single ladies too - love that song!

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

I totally try to reason with my 2 year old too. Don't know why I bother, but hey...
Don't groan over your measurements, I'll groan over mine for both of us!!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I'm with you on spending $ on snow gear but regret that I didn't every time I go out in the snow with the kids.

Emily said...

so funny! Great not me monday!

BlogBaby said...

Take it from my BabyMama, showering in peace is a thing of the past once you have children. My big brother used to bash his fists on the shower glass while screaming "STOP SHOWERING" at the top of his lungs. God help you poor Mama's!

Fabulous Not me list!

(P.S. Yes, a BABY writes this Blog hence the name....BlogBaby, clever I know.) ;)