If you want some seriously good Not Me! Monday reading, head on over to MckMama's for the very best in non-confession, plus a huge list of other blogs participating in the fun. As for me, here goes:
*I did not just realise that I have leftover party invitations sitting on the desk. They are not from Wiggle Man's birthday. In September.
*I do not enjoy using sentence. Fragments.
*I am not a little bit worried this won't be interesting because I haven't been adding to it all week like I usually do, and am instead coming up with all this on the fly. This is not because I can't seem to remember anything anymore.
*I am not interrupting this to go change a very wet and very smelly child.
*That did not take longer than I thought it would. That's not because the aforementioned child managed to get my pants wet as he sat on my lap. Before I realised he was wet, of course.
*I am not ridiculously hungry. After what I ate last night, I shouldn't need to eat again until at least Wednesday.
*I do not occasionally think up things I would do if I were fabulously wealthy. Those things do not include hiring someone who will put moisturiser on that one spot I can't reach between my shoulders and, of course, laser hair removal. Ah, to never shave my legs again.
*I do not think it's cute to dress Wiggle Man in clothes that are too big. He does not remind me of being in high school when all the boys wore pants that were 4 sizes too big.
*I am not cutting this short to go eat breakfast.